Happy Halloween!!

Hi, hello, and a very happy Halloween everyone! 

October really flew by. I swear it was just yesterday I was putting up the Halloween decorations.

One of my favorite things about Halloween is handing out candy to trick or treaters. This year I got full-sized candy bars, KitKats and Nerds Gummy Clusters. It's more of a treat for me when I see the kids faces light up as I let them choose. Also, I just LOVE when little kids (like 2-4) wear onesie costumes. It's the most adorable thing ever. I just wanna pinch their cheeks and steal them (not actually ofc).

So yesterday, some families chose to trick or treat early due to a college football game on Halloween. A little girl in the first group of the night looked up at me (mind you, I am mid powder bake with rollers in my hair) and said in the cutest voice "you're so beautiful." I DIED. Oh my gosh, it was the sweetest thing ever. I told her she was even more beautiful and snuck her two candy bars. How could I not? She earned it. 

Another thing I love about Halloween is the opportunity to be creative (especially gay halloween, i saw someone dress up as the f**gy lamp from Glee, ifykyk). It warms my heart to see everyone be so proud of the effort they put into their costume. 

I also would like to talk about costumes I hate seeing. Not to rain on anyone's parade, but I have to voice my opinion. I absolutely HATE seeing the stupid lorax costume. It's just not funny or fun. All the sorority girls dress up as him and think it is the funniest thing ever. I don't know why it irks me so much, but it does. 

Anyways, I hope everyone has a fun Halloween. Stay safe, drink water, and don't text your ex.  

Hot take: I don't think SNL is funny.

Hi everyone!

In this post I will be stating an opinion that some people may not like. Please keep in mind that this is solely my opinion, and I am not trying to judge/shit on other people's interests.

Here it is: I don't think SNL is funny, like at all. 

Saturday Night Live has been running longer than I have been alive. I have seen countless clips and episodes, yet not once have I full on laughed. Skits can be funny, but when they do skits about niche things on the internet (like the Moo Deng thing) it just comes off as "yeah guys, i'm on the internet too." Even when it's not niche internet references, the skits just aren't funny. Like David S. Pumpkins, who is that for? 

Also, Jimmy Fallon is not a funny host. Yes he is kind and respectful to the guests but I feel like he is just constantly talking over them to add his own little quips and laughs so annoyingly. I can't stand the guy. 

On the contrary, I have seen SOME funny clips. Like Arianna as the castrated victorian singer, that got a small chuckle outta me. Or Pedro Pascal in the "He does not have ADD, he just like to jump" skit. And my all time favorite, Timmy T and Pete Davidson when they both rap, I quote that daily. 

Overall, I just don't think the skit parts are funny. I wish they would get better writers and understand that you can't just put on a funny costume and expect me to laugh.

Go watch Wildwood now.

Hi everybody! 

So, over the weekend I had the pleasure of seeing Wildwood! It was an absolutely spectacular movie in which I will be seeing again. 

The animation was filled with so much love and care that you can see it in every shot. The subject material is very mature, however that is not a bad thing. It doesn't shy away from what it is in order to appeal to more people. When I saw that head fly, my mouth was agape for a good twenty minutes. I also loved how Kurtis wasn't made as an annoying side character, instead he was given his own plot and development. It truely is a love note to art. 

But, I have an issue and it isn't with the movie itself. It's the viewers, or more so the lack of viewers. 

I am a chronically online person, if someone has an opinion, I have seen it. So imagine my surprise when the internet constantly complains about reboots, sequels, and unoriginal stories and yet they fail to go see actual original stories. Wildwood made 11 million dollars at the box office on its opening weekend, yet fucking Street Fighter made 30 million. The reason there is no originality in film anymore is because people don't show up to any good original films!!!

I just genuinely can't understand why people fail Laika time after time, even though they have proved that they make timeless movies. I can understand not being able to afford movie tickets (been there) because it costs an arm and leg to go enjoy movies these days. 

Anyways, if you want to actually show your support for art, go watch this movie. I am begging every single one of you to get your butts in the theaters and witness the pinnacle of filmmaking. If you have seen it, I am very proud of you.

Women can't have anything

 Hi everyone! 

In my reading class, our topic of conversation took an interesting turn to smut books. A few people in class advocated that it's gross and would never read them. To each their own. However, some of the men in class really hate smut books and refer to them as "mommy porn." Something about the conversation rubbed me the wrong way but I didn't know why at the time. After the class was over, I recalled the discussion to pinpoint why I was so upset, then I figured it out. The answer, per usual, is misogyny.

Why misogyny you ask? It's because these men were so adamant about their dislike of smut books even though 87% of men consume porn on a regular. In short, it's a misogynistic double standard.

I have seen this online too, about how men are so disgusted with women reading these kinds of books.

Women can't have shit. 

Why are men so vocal about what women do? Who gives a fuck if women are reading smut? I am a proud smut reader and I do not care who judges me. It's not all I read, but from time to time it's entertaining. I'm sure many women feel the same (if not, to each their own). It's not like I'm reading it for the sole purpose of reading sex scenes, it's the build up that's fun as well as the tropes. Additionally, when most women read those scenes all we do is giggle a little bit and kick our feet. What is so wrong about that? 

When men watch (key word here is watch) porn, they do it for the sole reason of getting off. It's far more disgusting than a woman reading because it involves actual people doing the deed. 

I am so sick of men poilicing women on the same things men do. Like with the Shane Gillis SNL joke. Why are women scrutinized for wearing sports wear to the gym? If I said the same thing about men working out with their shirt off, I would be met with "It's comfortable". Yet, they can't seem to understand that the same goes for women (at least we are wearing more clothes!). But I digress.

Men should just keep their noses out of our business. At least we are reading! I have heard many men say that they haven't read a book since middle school, which is absolutely pathetic.

I have a theory, that men hate us reading smut because it gives us higher standards in the bedroom (but this is just a theory). Long story short, men suck and I will try to make my point to the men in class one day. 

Women, keep reading smut. I will be right there with you. (If you haven't yet, the Bridgerton series is my favorite). 

If you have one, what is your favorite spicy book? If not, what is your favorite romance?

Collective effervescence

 Hi everyone!

One of my favorite emotions is collective effervescence. It's the shared energy and sense of unity people feel when gathered for a common purpose, like concerts for example. 

Even when I'm not a part of it, it brings me happiness seeing a group of people collectively having fun. I think it's one of the greatest things about being human. 

I have only experienced it a handful of times. The first was in theater. All of my friends singing and dancing together made me feel so connected to everyone. The second was at a Tyler the Creator concert. Tyler is one of my favorite artists, experiencing his music and presence in a stadium full of like-minded fans was exhilarating. I remember the feeling in my chest. It was heavy, but the kind of heaviness that made me feel whole. The other times was when I went to see musicals. I wasn't a part of them, but I could feel the energy radiating off the stage, especially during ensemble songs. 

Notice the pattern yet? It all centers around music. 

There is something so special about a group of strangers experiencing music together. It gives me hope in humanity. It reminds me that we are all connected one way or another. 

Even if it's just a TikTok video of a bunch of people dancing, I can imagine exactly how being in that moment feels. So, if you are ever feeling like there is no hope for humanity, go look up videos of people experiencing collective effervescence. It won't disappoint.  

Why do I write?

   

 In all honesty, I'm not sure why I am so drawn to telling stories and sharing my perspective. Sure, I liked to read as a kid. But I never wrote lavish stories or dreamed of being an author. I wanted to be a teacher when I was young. I gave up on that because there is hardly any money in it.

    When I picked my major, the first thought that came to mind was interior design. On my first day of classes, I knew that it didn't suit me. I remember walking through campus, scrolling on my phone for potential majors, when I saw professional writing. I don't even remember why I picked it; I just knew something clicked. I didn't even get to take a writing class until two years later (aka this year). Now I am learning so much and finding myself questioning why I love it.

    Maybe it's because I want something to outlive me when I die. If I am ever published, my work will hopefully still be around when I'm gone. My family can read my stories and feel like I'm there with them.  Or it might be the thought of writing something that sits with a person so heavily. I can transport people away from this world for just a few hours with my words. I can offer that relief, like many authors did with me. Or maybe I like the idea of being able to change someone's mind with just a few pages. I could have a chance to change someone's perspective on a variety of things: life, politics, the world, and even their imagination.

    Writing is one of the most beautiful arts. It can be so moving and complex that it brings tears to one's eyes in happiness or sadness. I believe I could do that one day. I might not have been churning out exuberant poems or challenging essays as a child, but I still have time to do all that.  I think I write because I have so much to share with the world. My anger and sadness, along with my hope and joy. I know someone out there will read my works someday and feel those emotions, and that would be enough for me.

I now understand the 'alcoholic author' trope

Hi everyone! 

I just got feedback on a short story I recently wrote. I was very proud of the story since it was the longest thing I have written so far. My professor ripped that story open and dissected every part of it.

"That's his job! I am paying for this! He knows more than you! I shouldn't be mad about it," I think.

But I am mad. 

I am mad, grateful, confused, hurt, humbled, understanding, embarrassed, and determined. I have a lot of big feelings all at once and it sucks.

The criticism wasn't even harsh, it was brutally honest. I need that kind of criticism in order to become a writer. Not to mention I will get much worse feedback once I become published. However, I am irrationally upset about it. I feel like I put so much time and effort into something I'm proud of just for it to be a meager 80%. 

I had a thousand word limit and I went over by two thousand. I pulled back a lot in order to not overwhelm my professor and TA when grading. I made sure it flowed and had enough information to be compelling and short. In his feedback my professor asked for more explanation and depth. I cannot think of any way to give more explanation without adding on three to four thousand words (like I wanted it to be). So, now I will be spending the next few days fine tuning this story, word count be damned.

 (Side note: I had this problem in another class, I despise a word count. You will not put a word cap on my creativity damnit!) 

The sting of the criticism is both fueling my determination to become a great writer, and my self-hatred. Before anyone says it, yes I am well aware I need to grow thicker skin. I now know why a lot of great writers are alcoholic shut-ins. Criticism is a double edged sword--it hurts but it's needed. 

I hope the vodka and weed are ready for me tonight. 

(Side note: I have no qualms with my professor! He is a very intelligent and talented man. I am very grateful to be taught by him. I just have never been this critiqued before.)

Southern delicacies

Hi everyone!

As some of you may know, I am a born and bred Oklahoman. Honestly, a little too Oklahoman. My family is in the oil, cattle, and land business. I have lived in most areas of Oklahoma, I go to OU, and I'm Cherokee (Happy Indigenous Peoples day btw). 

As an Oklahoman, there are many foods that are very common here. Deer chili (with the beans), catfish, hush puppies, indian tacos, fry bread, fried okra, and my beloved fried crappie (we fry pretty much everything).

What is fried crappie you may ask? Well, crappie is a small freshwater fish in the south/midwest that is absolutely delicious. It's also pronounced kraa-pee. The best way to eat crappie is to fry it up. My favorite way is to put some on a tortilla, add fresh coleslaw, and squeeze a good amount of lemon juice on top.

The reason I am talking about this today is because I am craving some so damn bad. 

The only way you can get crappie is to catch some yourself. I have looked online to buy fresh crappie fillets but it is very expensive to order. My dad was the one to always bring some home from his fishing days. He would gut, skin, and fry them in under an hour. But these days he doesn't fish anymore. I have been begging for months to go fishing with him so I could just have one mouthwatering crappie taco. Hopefully by next weekend I'll be eating my fill. 

Do y'all have any favorite meals your family makes? 

Day 2: Blade

Hi everyone! 

I apologize for the late post, yesterday was a very busy day. However, I still made time to watch my daily movie. 

Yesterday's movie was Blade, directed by Stephen Norrington. Once again, this was my first time watching this movie, and I am so disappointed that I went this long without seeing it. The perfect way to describe this movie is that it FUCKS.

Wesley Snipes, who plays Blade, is just so damn cool throughout the whole movie. Every time he enters a scene, he poses exactly how a vampire-killing vigilante should pose. While looking like an absolute badass, he is also pretty funny. I found myself laughing at a couple of one-liners throughout the movie.

What also made me love this movie was the way the hand-to-hand combat scenes were choreographed. It's a bit cheesy and dramatized, but the speed and combination of moves are so sick to watch. I wish that modern action movies had better hand-to-hand combat. I feel like every time I see a new action movie, it's 99% guns and 1% face punches. In this movie, it's 50% guns and 50% martial arts. The addition of sword combat makes it even better. What's cooler than two vampires having a sword fight with club music playing in the background?

One small criticism I have is the late-'90s CGI. I understand they had to work with what they had, but it felt like I was watching a cutscene in Doom 64. I loved the idea but didn't like the execution. When Blade kills the vampires, they disintegrate in a way that feels pretty lackluster. I feel like it would look so much better with either practical effects or more updated CGI.

I do have to mention something my boyfriend and I talked about while watching. He said that Blade reminded him of Batman, and I agree. But Blade is so much cooler than Batman. (I really hate Batman. He's so lame.) I love that Blade is fighting for a good cause and actually killing the bad guys instead of just throwing them into a prison they can escape from. I always love an antihero who doesn't have a problem with killing.

Overall, this was probably one of the coolest movies I have ever seen. If you love clubbing, sexy vampires, awesome fight scenes, and an awesome neo-gothic vibe, you will love this movie.

31 days of Halloween

Hi everyone!

It's my favorite month ever, October! I have changed the theme of my blog to match the vibe of the month. (It will go back to normal after Halloween.)

I love Halloween traditions. I try to keep myself accountable by doing as many as I can while also creating some of my own. One of my traditions is based on cable television holiday specials.

Remember when you were a kid back in the 2010s and Disney Channel or ABC Family (now Freeform) would air a Halloween movie or episode every day? It always filled me with holiday spirit and made me anticipate Halloween. To honor that, I watch a horror/Halloween movie almost every day. (I am a busy college kid, okay? Some days I have almost no free time.) I will also be writing and posting a review of whatever movie I watch that day.

To kick off this year's tradition, today's movie is Sleepy Hollow, directed by Tim Burton. I have never seen this movie before, and I don't really know why. I love everything Tim Burton touches. His works have the perfect spooky vibes, and they are always a joy to watch. This movie is no different. It's spooky, it's campy, and it's bloody. Sleepy Hollow has everything you could want in a Tim Burton film and more. By more, I mean gothic 19th-century Johnny Depp.

I am so happy I got to watch this for the first time. The plot is compelling and does the original story justice. The costume design is amazing. Christina Ricci in a white corset is something I didn't know I needed in my life. What really pulled me in was the classic gothic Halloween. Flaming jack-o'-lanterns, twisty dead trees, murders, and witches are everything I look for in this holiday. The town in this movie is fucked up, and I love it!

I highly recommend it to whoever needs a classic spooky movie.

Do y'all have a favorite Halloween movie?

Crochet chronicles

Hi everyone! 

Aside from blogging, one of my favorite hobbies is crochet! Last year in December, my mother had been crocheting for a few months and wanted to teach me. I was home for winter break and desperately needed a new hobby. When she taught me my first stitch, I was hooked (pun intended). 

At first, I worked on a scarf. It was a tawdry little thing; messy stitching, a god awful color, and far too long. Naturally my mom loved it but I wanted to make her something better. 

I kept crocheting the scarf, using it as practice for my stitching. I got better and so I moved on to my next project, hats. 

My first hat was very short and didn't sit right on the head. The stitching was good enough but I wanted it to be perfect (I have a problem with perfection). I think I crocheted about three hats before I had perfected it. 

(Not a hat, but a balaclava for my boyfriend)

I had mastered single and double crochet stitching, and learned how to follow patterns. I never wear hats, so the ones I had made are currently sitting somewhere in my drawers. But, I do wear shorts. The first pair I crocheted was absolutely perfect. The yarn was beautiful, the stitching was consistent, and I followed the pattern perfectly. Unfortunately, I made that pair of shorts for a shitty friend. They were never seen again.

(Don't look at the crotch part, i swear they fit well)

(Also fuck you Emily, I want my shorts back.) 

I had fallen out of crocheting for a few months. I had a lot of personal things going on and was depressed. During the summer, I gotten back into it again. I made myself shorts. Unfortunately I never wear them, the yarn is itchy. 

(Isn't it pretty?)

Now, I am on a new journey of crocheting; tapestries. I have always wanted to make my own tapestries but never had the yarn or skill. One day, I decided I was going to do it. I found a grid pattern, watched some YouTube tutorials, and went to Hobby Lobby to get the yarn I needed (I bought a lot of yarn that day). After I got back, I made my first tapestry. 

(If you squint, you can somewhat make out what it is)

I had made an effort at least. Most importantly, I learned from my mistakes. My roommate Kimmy commissioned me to make her an Iron Man tapestry, and I found the perfect pattern. It only took me two days, and it is perfect. 

(I am so proud of this)

Now, I'm working on a tapestry of my own. A blue and gold tapestry with my frat greek letters on it, ΑΦΩ.  I will update this blog once I have finished it. So far, it's looking great! 

If anyone wants to commision anything, I love making things for other people and I'll only ask for a small price (weed, money, or food). 

What should my next project be? (No plushies... I am not there yet).

Update: Here is my finished tapestry of Jiji!